WACKY TACKY
Suit Up!
Do you think the buyers for Urban Outfitters actually liked this suit? Perhaps they felt sorry for it, as it languished in its paneled, bizzarely color-blocked state. Or maybe the creative director just had it out for this poor model, and figured it’d be hilarious to show her what she’ll be wearing in twenty years. They may be right, though given her pained expression, I’m guessing she’ll be nixing that bow.
[Image via Urban Outfitters]
Suit Up!
I guess I could go the generous it’s-not-fashion-it’s-art route, if this Red Carter suit were in fact art. Instead it’s mostly dominatrix with a touche of Derelicte around the bubble skirt. The model is doing her best, but tangerine cheeks and electro-gelled hair do not a panacea make. Gotta commend her fierceness though.
[Image via AP]
Suit Up!
You just know she has the matching towel, tee, and beach bag. Honestly, RL’s need to bigisize and blingify that poor polo player has gotten way out of hand. Maybe he’s compensating for American Living?
[Image via Saks]
Suit Up!
This one cracks me up. Good ole Vicky and her raging case of must-make-clothes-appear-sexy-even-when-they’re-aimed-at-octogenarians. Or soccer madres, but you see my point. This. is. a. floral. tankini. Even Maxim’s hottest girl of the year (thank you E!), can’t transcend it, though she’s trying her damnedest. I commend her effort, but hello, the people who buy tankinis probably don’t look like this, so why rub it in?
[Image via Victoria's Secret]
Suit Up!
Okay, this isn’t a swimsuit per se, but I did find it in Urban’s swim section. I don’t check out UO all that often, but every time I do, the stock is entirely different. Where does it all go? Do that many people really want polka dot unitards with attached bike shorts? You can bet that upon my next visit, this vision in translucent black polyster will have vanished as well, snapped up by our nation’s hordes of romper-loving hipsterettes. First person to wear it to the Beach Club wins a free GofG tee (and some sweet tan lines).
[Images via Urban Outfitters]
Suit Up!
Who said dunes and domina can’t be bffls? The Brits know the sun holds room for all sorts of fun (handcuffs sold separately).
[Image via Topshop]
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Even In The Hamptons…
Damn straight. Thought you could escape fuggs out east? Nope, these babies are here to stay folks…taken 2 min ago at Book Hampton.
Suit Up!
How incredibly trashtastic is this? Perfect for your trips to the Jersey Shore, BBQ’s at Mrs. Hogan’s, or late night Porky’s after parties. This baby plus a couple vodka/redbulls and damn straight them boys will hollllaaaa back!
[Image via Picasweb]
Clothes Make The Women
Darling, nothing is Vegas-proof, not even supposedly “A-list only” Lily Pond.
